What is confidence?
It is the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.
There are strategies, ways of thinking, behavior patterns, and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself. Still, they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to nd that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence.
1. Get To Know Your Values
Personal values are a big passion, and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that, though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are, and they’re the building blocks, the foundations, and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others, or in the world that’s most important to you and could include things like beliefs, progress, family, fun, nature, achievement, or freedom.
Why do some people and situations leave you feeling angry, frustrated, demotivated, or dated? It’s because one or more of your values is being denied, suppressed, or repressed – and we experience that as a negative experience because it denies a fundamental piece of who you are. But, on the other hand, do you know those times when you’ve felt really alive, amazing, or buzzing? Those are the times when one or more of your values are being honored, and you can get more of that by living according to them.
Your values are all yours, and no matter what happens, no one can ever take them away. You can have absolute confidence in them because they’re there all the time, just waiting for you to notice and use them. When you get to know your values, you can start making choices and aligning your life around them. It’s so simple and feels amazing because all that really means is that you’re allowing who you are to live in the real world.
2. Exercise the Muscle
Confidence is a muscle, and like any muscle, you need to exercise it so that it doesn’t shrink and waste away. The problem is that unlike your biceps or glutes, which tend to stay in the same place, your confidence muscle can be harder to nd. So how do you develop your biceps or rm up your glutes? By doing exercises designed to work that muscle over a period of time until you see the results, you were looking for.
It’s just the same with confidence. Let’s say that you’re the kind of person that doesn’t take many risks, the kind of person who goes through each day doing what needs to be done and doing it well, but not really stretching yourself. You might talk yourself out of doing something because it’s too scary or because you think to yourself, ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘that’s not who I am’ or ‘I don’t really want it anyway.’ That kind of person lives within what they know and what keeps them safe and comfortable. The fewer risks they take, the less confident they need to be, and so the less confident they become.
To work your confidence muscle, you need to be prepared to take risks – big or small. It would be best if you were willing to stretch yourself in an unfamiliar direction, to try something new, or try something in a slightly different way. You need to open yourself up to the possibilities around you and push yourself to increase what you know, do, and who you are. The more open you are to risk, opportunity, and possibility, the more confident you need to be, and so the more confidence you’ll develop. That’s your confidence muscle – the question is, what are you going to do to exercise it?"